Impossibly Unambiguous

Sorry folks, this may come as a complete surprise to you all but my latest Re:Port ‘Beyond The Chamber’ offering is not going to be centered around the usual lack of left-wing rights for which I am often quite rightly left to handle.

Not only have I left it rather late to submit my latest purging to this months most sacred of local journalistic cash-cows, I am also going to take the right-royal liberty to blame everyone that’s left other than myself for it’s delay and furthermore, I am even going to change my most learned editors brief to suit me, because you see peeps, for once, this article is all about me!

That’s Right! Me-me-me-me-me!

Why? Because today is my 43rd birthday and bugger-it-all, I am just feeling a wee bit selfish at the moment so just go and find yourself an accredited contractor, submit your plans to any relevant Government authority that is sympathetic to your cause, build a financially viable toll bridge whose profits are contractually obliged to fix the feeder roads that lead to it and well, just get over it.

With that said, our esteemed editor Mr. Tall N. Handsome (apologies for the typo – Ed) decided to put the Re:port second anniversary birthday bash on the day before my deadline, which incidentally is about 4 day’s past the real mag deadline because I had already negotiated my own Re:Port equivalent of the German-British Christmas truce of 1914.

So where is all this leading?

Well, nowhere really, as I said at the start, this one is all about me to make me feel good about me, me-me-me-me-me, but hey, as we get chronologically closer to that most frenzied celebration of international consumerism that is X-mas, maybe we need to stop and think with our hearts for a second and not with our wallets, now let’s see, for whom does your bell chime and why?

You guest it folks, Mr. Birthday here is trying to spread the message of love, because everyone I know has been bathing me in it all day, from my very own and very beautiful all grown up children to my somewhat overly competitive siblings, my wonderful partner Lorraine, my father Ted, Haneef, the Indian Telstra dude who rang tonight and even that unnamed evil unbending inflexible servant troll of the Child Support Agency who is going to ring me tomorrow.

To you all I want to say Thank-you,
I have had a truly wonderful day.